Beyond Measure - Easter Egg
by inkstainedfingers97
Summary: Jane's POV for selected chapters of Beyond Measure. I'm pretty sure this won't make a lick of sense if you haven't read that first.
1. Chapter 17 of Beyond Measure - Jane POV

Disclaimer: This is for fun and no money.

A/N: I noticed I have a tendency to switch back and forth between perspectives in a lot of my fic, so I decided to try to write Beyond Measure entirely from one point of view as a challenge to myself. I decided to write it from Lisbon's point of view, since I think The Tiger and the Lamb had a bit more of Jane's perspective overall. But there are a couple of scenes in this story where Jane's side of the story just really wanted to be written, so I decided to write them as "easter eggs" to the main story and post them separately. Because that story clearly isn't long enough already. Ha. This is the first one. It might be kind of cheesy, but meh. It's a missing scene from Chapter 17 of Beyond Measure. I'm pretty sure this won't make a lick of sense if you haven't read that first.

xxx

Jane watched Lisbon sleep, so full of love for her he thought it might literally spill out of him like a cup brimming over. The woman had baked a cupcake for him. A practically inedible cupcake. To honor the memory of his daughter, a child she'd never met.

Lisbon was right. Charlotte's life was something to celebrate. It was comforting to think his daughter was remembered by someone other than him, even if it was Lisbon, who had never known her in life. He'd never realized it before, but it was important to him that someone else recognize her, that someone else understand how important she was. Lisbon had given him that.

She'd given him so much. A place on her team. Her quiet, constant support. Her precious, unwavering love. She'd loved him a long time, he'd come to realize. She'd hidden it in plain sight, behind a mask of brisk efficiency and fierce loyalty. Lisbon's way of loving someone was less obviously apparent than his, with his penchant for extravagant gifts and dramatic gestures. Hers was no less strong, but different in expression, due to their fundamentally dissimilar natures. She was his opposite in so many ways—while he constantly clamored for attention, everything she did was executed with as little fanfare as possible. He blew through people's lives like a tornado, causing unrest and upset everywhere he went. She moved through the wreckage of other people's lives more gently, quietly and efficiently setting everything to rights. She did this for the people whose lives she touched in the course of her work, and she'd done it for him. She'd been there for him ever since he'd met her, with her steadfast calm, teasing banter, and above all her incredible compassion.

He'd never been there for her in quite the same way, he realized with a pang. He'd always been distracted, before. At first, by his grief, and later, by his fear. She'd protected him, sacrificed for him. And what had he given her in return? All those years, he'd blown hot and cold with her, flirting and teasing one minute and then panicking when he realized he was getting too close and retreating back to his attic. He'd always held part of himself back from her.

No wonder she was a bit skittish about trusting her heart to him completely now. She'd trained herself not to rely on him, convinced by his talk of revenge and his admittedly eccentric ways that he might disappear at a moment's notice. It was natural that she'd be nervous about letting him entangle himself more thoroughly into her life. Still, at the first sign that he needed her, she hadn't hesitated to drop everything and come to his side.

Not for the first time, he reflected that he in no way deserved her. She deserved a whole man, someone unencumbered by guilt and self-doubt, someone brave enough to give himself to her completely. Could he be that for her?

He'd been consumed with guilt and that dark obsession with revenge for so long. But it had been better lately, now that he was with Lisbon. Now, wallowing in misery and self-loathing seemed less important than focusing on where to find the perfect rose for her, or what kind of dessert would make her eyes light up when he surprised her with it after dinner. He thought of the Carters' priest, quoting Martin Luther King, Jr. to him. _Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that._ Ultimately, it wasn't vengeance that had freed him from that darkness. It was Lisbon. She was his light and his love.

He whiled away the hours, casting his gaze over the soft sweep of her dark hair, drinking in the sight of her freckles against her ivory skin, pale in the moonlight. The full mouth, softly parted. He took her hand, lying on the couch cushions between them. He enveloped it in his and cradled it to him, two fingers curled around her wrist to rest against her pulse point. He thought about what it would take to make her happy, in both the short and long term.

He would stop pressuring her for more than she was ready to give, he decided. If she needed time, he would give it to her. It was the least he could do. After all, Lisbon had already proven she was utterly trustworthy. She'd demonstrated in a thousand ways that an organ as sensitive someone else's heart was safe in her care. He figured he had a long way to go in terms of proving himself worthy of the task of looking after hers. He knew she was still wary, that she still feared he was going to leave. This concern was mystifying to him, since he'd practically tattooed his intentions on his forehead. How she could think he had any intention of leaving when he had done everything he could to worm his way into moving in with her was baffling, but that was Lisbon. If she'd been less complicated and confusing, he probably never would have fallen in love with her in the first place.

So in the short term, he'd ease up on the pressure to make the traditional sort of displays about their commitment to one another. He had no intention of relinquishing his true object (her, forever), but sometimes one had to make a few sacrifices along the way to achieve one's ultimate goal. In this case, the necessary sacrifice was giving her space when that was the last thing he wanted to do. He'd already gotten the apartment, which had helped. But he would have to wait a little longer than he'd originally planned to revisit the idea of moving in with her. He might even have to wait until she brought it up herself, and God knew how long that could take. Still, he could be patient, if the ultimate prize was sleeping with Lisbon in his arms every night.

He wondered how long it would be before it would be safe to propose. He'd have done it already if he hadn't thought it would send her running to the hills. Now he was starting to think his original timeline of Christmas was overly optimistic. He'd have to tread carefully there. If he didn't make any of his intentions known, she might interpret that as a lack of interest on his part, which could in turn result in her feeling hurt and rejected, even if she thought she didn't want that yet. He needed to plant the seeds, make sure she had an idea of how much he wanted her without pressuring her into any time frames she wasn't comfortable with. Best to leave thoughts of marriage unspoken, for the time being.

It occurred to him that it might be easier for him to abide by this self-imposed rule if he simply acted as though he were already married to her. He could start immediately. That would ease his impatience, and then all he would have to do was wait for her to catch up. The ceremony would be little more than a formality, after all. He had every intention of being with her the rest of his life. He wanted that formality, true, so he could proclaim to the world that she was unequivocally his and he was unequivocally hers, but that was hardly the most important thing about marriage. The important thing was that he made her smile at the end of a long day, that he made her feel as treasured as she was as often as possible.

He wouldn't be able to do that if he was still mired in the past. He thought about what she'd said, that she wanted him to be able to remember the good things about his family. Moving on didn't mean forgetting. In his case, it meant turning his focus away from his past failures and no longer allowing them to dictate his every move. If he truly wanted to heal, to be whole for her, he would have to set down the burden of guilt he'd been carrying for so long. In ten years, he'd never managed to do it for himself, but now he thought he finally might be able to do it. For her.

It wouldn't be easy. He'd carried that burden like a sack of stones for over a decade. He wouldn't be able to set the whole thing down at once, he knew. He'd have to release one stone at a time, and make sure each fallen stone didn't damage anyone else in the process. Especially her. He didn't want her suffering any more over his past mistakes. She was far too precious to him. He gazed at her sleeping form, another wave of love crashing over him. In that moment, if she'd woken and asked for the moon, he'd have ascended the stars to get it for her.

_I give myself to thee_, he pledged silently. And in that moment, an unfamiliar feeling stole through his chest and took up residence in his heart. The weight lessened. He breathed deeply, feeling lighter and freer than he had in longer than he could remember. He looked at her in wonder, and held her hand tighter to his chest. It took him a minute, but finally he found the name for that extraordinary feeling in his chest.

Peace.


	2. Chapters 32-29 of Beyond Measure - Jane

A/N: This is Jane's point of view on the Thanksgiving chapters of Beyond Measure. Again, I'm reasonably certain this won't make much sense if you haven't read that first. This is probably best read after Chapter 39 of that story.

xxx

Jane was having trouble concealing his excitement. He was on his way to Chicago with Lisbon to spend Thanksgiving with her family. How could he not be thrilled? Seeing her in Chicago surrounded by her family was going to be a veritable gold mine of insight into Lisbon's psyche. Better yet, not only was he getting unprecedented access to Lisbon's personal history, but she'd invited him of her own free will. He hadn't even had to plot or scheme to wrangle an invitation.

The fact that she felt their personal relationship had reached the point where it merited being invited home for the holidays was very encouraging. He'd been starting to worry that her love of independence might actually triumph over her love of fantastic sex with him and that she was never going to let him move in with her. Not that they were any closer to moving in together, technically. Thanksgiving was definitely a step in the right direction, though. He had a foot in the door.

Now all he had to do was win over Lisbon's brothers and help resolve over twenty years of family tension for a family that he technically didn't belong to yet. Piece of cake. Of course, before that, he had to avoid pissing off an already anxious Lisbon by allowing her to see how delighted he was to be on a trip she was facing with such dread. He carefully schooled his features into a neutral expression so Lisbon wouldn't see his barely contained glee and picked up the Sky Mall magazine to distract himself.

Xxx

Jane's resolve to control his giddiness was further tested when he caught sight of Lisbon in her winter coat. She had a black pea coat she wore when it got chilly in Sacramento, but apparently she'd deemed that insufficient for November in Chicago. Instead, she'd donned a puffy down jacket that positively dwarfed her. It was doing strange things to him. She was also wearing a pink hat. It was possibly the cutest thing he'd ever seen.

He was less excited about the coat she expected him to wear. Still, he was secretly pleased that she'd bought it for him, despite the fact that it didn't at all go with his usual style. He dutifully put on the coat at her insistence, thrilling a little at her determination to take care of him whether he liked it or not. The way she fussed over him wearing the coat and gloves was positively wifely, which pleased him beyond measure.

Xxx

The first evening went pretty much as he'd expected it to. Michael was hostile, James wary. He wasn't worried, though. He'd always known it would take a little time for them to warm up to him. At least Tommy was already more or less on his side.

His only regret was how tense the entire situation was making Lisbon. There were obviously some deeper issues at play here. He thought he had a pretty good idea of what they were. Their practical effect was to wind Lisbon into a tightly knotted bundle of nerves whenever she was around her brothers, and he didn't want that for her. Clearly, he was going to need to stir the pot a little to shake all those repressed emotions out of the lot of them.

Good thing that was his specialty.

Xxx

His chocolate chip pancakes the following morning were a huge success, and then he was treated to a true Lisbon family tradition: snow football.

"Do they do this every year?" he asked Nell, scuffing his feet in the snow. The ground was covered in about three inches of fine powder—ideal conditions for snow football, according to Lisbon.

"Whenever there's enough snow on the ground," Nell confirmed.

"I imagine that's not usually a problem around here," Jane said, pulling the coat Lisbon had bought him a little tighter around his throat.

She smiled. "Not usually, no."

"You don't play yourself?"

"Getting my face ground into the snow by my brothers in law is not my idea of fun," she said dryly. "I prefer to watch."

"Do you follow football?"

"Sure. Almost everybody does, around here."

He nodded in the direction of the rest of the family, lining up in their teams. "Who's your pick?"

"My pick?"

"Yeah, which team do you think is going to win?"

"Oh, Teresa's team will win for sure," Nell said.

"Really," Jane said with interest. "How do you know? They haven't even started playing yet."

"Her team always wins."

"Are the people on her team that much better than the other team?"

Nell shook her head. "They change the teams every year."

"Then how do you know Teresa will win this year?"

"Because she's a better captain than James," Nell explained.

"How so?" Jane asked.

"James always has the same play. He looks for the long pass to Michael, every time. Doesn't trust the smaller kids not to drop the ball. Teresa, on the other hand, uses her whole team. She knows the game is about maintaining possession, so she'll take a five yard gain over a long pass into the end zone. Meanwhile, all she has to do defensively is have Tommy mark Michael and she's set." She shook her head. "I love my husband dearly, but he can't strategize for beans." She nodded to the field. "Watch. You'll see."

Jane watched. He couldn't take his eyes off Lisbon, her eyes sparkling and her cheeks rosy from the cold. The competitive gleam in her eye as she plotted out the next play with her team, her triumphant expression when they scored a touchdown. He watched her smile and laugh with her family, and thanked his lucky stars he'd managed to get himself invited to see her like this.

Xxx

The day after Thanksgiving, the Lisbon brothers got in the car, decidedly disgruntled about their day of football watching being ruined. James took shotgun. Michael and Tommy wordlessly climbed into the back, their obvious apprehension about where they were going settling around them like sticky ash. Jane got in and started the car. The brothers sat in dour silence for the first few minutes, the air around them thick with tension while Jane, cheerful, focused on directing the car towards his intended destination.

Tommy was the one to break the silence. "Uh… dude," he said, looking out the window. "This isn't the way to the mall."

"We're not going to the mall," Jane answered, checking his side mirror as he made a turn.

James exhaled loudly. "Oh, thank God."

Michael slumped back in his seat. "What a relief. Reese said you were going to make us go Christmas shopping."

"What's wrong with Christmas shopping?"

"Nothing. As long as you do it on Christmas Eve when all the other dads are doing their shopping and the mall is safe."

"Or online," Tommy agreed.

Jane wrinkled his nose in distaste. "Online? That's no way to do your Christmas shopping."

"What's wrong with shopping online?" Tommy wanted to know.

"It's so… impersonal. The place I'm taking you is far better, you'll see."

"What?" Michael said in alarm. "I thought you said we weren't going shopping."

"I said we weren't going to the mall," Jane corrected him.

"Where are we going, then?" Michael demanded.

Jane grinned. "You'll see."

Xxx

Twenty minutes later, they pulled up to a small shop in one of the older neighborhoods of Chicago.

"Here we are," Jane announced.

Michael looked out the window. "This is a jewelry store," he said, sounding horrified.

Tommy looked a little sick. "What are we doing here?"

"Shopping for jewelry, of course," Jane answered.

James cast a sideways glance at him. "What kind of jewelry?"

Jane could hardly contain his anticipation. "You, my friends, are going to help me pick out an engagement ring for your sister."

Michael straightened in his seat. "You're going to ask Reese to marry you?"

"Well, it'd be silly to go to the trouble of finding the perfect ring if I didn't intend to pop the question," Jane said reasonably. He opened the car door. "Come on, let's go inside. The perfect ring isn't going to pick out itself."

He got out of the car and strode confidently into the store. The Lisbon brothers trailed in behind him.

"Hello," Jane greeted the proprietor cheerfully.

The little old man looked up and blinked at him owlishly. "Yes?" he said uncertainly. Despite the infamy of Black Friday, he apparently hadn't been expecting customers. The place was deserted and he'd clearly been passing the time by reading the morning paper. "How can I help you?"

"My name is Patrick Jane," Jane informed him. "I believe we spoke on the phone. I'm a friend of Pete's."

The old man's face lit up in recognition. "Ah, yes! Patrick. Very pleased to meet you. And your friends, of course," he said, nodding to the wary Lisbon brothers. "What can I do for you today?"

"I'd like to look at some engagement rings," Jane said. "Antique, preferably."

"Certainly," the old man said. "Let me check in the back. I think I may have some pieces that may interest you."

"Thank you," Jane said with a smile. "Much obliged."

The old man shuffled into the back. Jane bent down and peered into the nearest display case, perusing the selection.

James came up to his elbow. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he hissed.

Jane straightened and met his gaze. "Of course. I've never been more sure of anything in my life." He moved onto the next display case and pointed at an old-fashioned silver ring set with a large pearl in the center. "What do you think about this one?"

James ignored the ring. "I mean, have you talked to Reese about this at all?"

"Not in so many words," Jane answered.

"Oh, man," Michael said, shaking his head. "You're making a big mistake. Reese does not like surprises."

"Of course she does," Jane said. "If they're the right kind of surprises."

"James and Michael are right," Tommy said uneasily. "You should maybe… wait. At least until you've talked to her."

"I'm afraid that won't work," Jane said. "I don't want to wait to get the ring, you see. I need to have it on hand for when the time comes."

"Seriously," Michael said. "Save your money. Reese doesn't do commitment."

"Don't be silly," Jane said. "Of course she does." She'd stayed by his side for ten years, hadn't she? Technically, they hadn't been together all that time, but he'd never been one to let semantic distinctions get in his way.

"She hasn't been with a guy longer than six months since Greg," Michael argued.

"Well, that was because she wasn't in love with any of those guys," Jane said, exasperated. "Obviously."

Michael looked at him in disgust. "And you think you're different? That she's in love with you?"

"I know she is."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "She told you that, did she?"

"Well… not exactly," Jane allowed. In point of fact, she'd told Russo, but that was something, wasn't it? She'd say the words to him directly when she was ready.

"This is what we're saying," Michael said. "She hasn't even told you she loves you, and you're picking out rings? You must be seriously deluded."

"She may not have said the words yet, but she feels the same way I do. I'm sure of it."

Tommy looked at him with something akin to pity. "How can you be so sure?"

Jane looked at him. "I can see it in her eyes. Hear it in her voice." And feel it in her touch, but he didn't think Lisbon's brothers would appreciate that detail. "She's having a hard time saying the words, but she's working on it. Doesn't mean she doesn't feel it. She's just scared. Don't you think I know that? I've known her a long time. I know her mind. I know her heart. I don't have to hear the words to be certain that she's the one person on the planet I want to see every day for the rest of my life."

James sighed. "Look, I'm not saying she doesn't feel something for you. I… I can see it, too. I've never seen her look at anyone the way she looks at you. But marriage… I'm not sure she's ready for that."

"That's true," Jane agreed. "I'm impressed you spotted that, actually. But don't worry, I'm aware she's not ready for that step at the moment. That's why I intend to wait to ask her."

"Wait until what?" Tommy asked.

Jane shrugged. "Until she's ready."

"How are you going to know when she's ready?" Michael demanded.

"I'm not sure yet," Jane said. "But I'll know. I'm not sure how long it will be. Right now I'm guessing it's going to be another six months or so." He sighed. "I hope it's not much longer than that, anyway."

"Six months?" Michael said incredulously. "Why the hell did you hustle us down here to shop for rings today if you don't intend to ask her for another six months?"

Jane looked at him. "I love your sister, and I'm going to marry her. That means I'm going to be part of your lives from now on, whether you like it or not. I thought it would be easier for you to accept that from the beginning if I made you aware of my intentions. As for inviting you along for this little errand, I assumed you'd appreciate having the opportunity to participate in a significant milestone of your sister's life. Besides, I heard about this great shop, so I figured while I was in the neighborhood, so to speak, what better opportunity to find the perfect ring?"

"And we're just supposed to sit on this?" Michael said. "Keep something this big from our only sister for six months? Or more?"

"Well, I know Lisbon didn't raise a bunch of tattle tales," Jane said, his mouth curving into a smile. "I figured I could count on you not to rat me out."

Michael frowned. Jane could see he was still unconvinced.

He took a deep breath, determined to make him see. "I'm… not an easy man. I'm manipulative, impatient. Prone to taking shortcuts. I'm a con man, at heart. Willing to lie and cheat and steal if it will get me what I want. After my first wife and child were killed, I was broken. A shell. Consumed with rage and vengeance. But your sister saw something in me besides all that. She let me be part of her team." He smiled a little. "Bullied me into using my dubious talents for something worthwhile. I went along with it at first because I thought I could use her to get closer to the man who killed my family. But it became more than that. I started to enjoy the work for itself. And I… I started to care about her, even though I didn't want to, at first. I thought she was a distraction. But the thing is, even though she frustrated the hell out of me sometimes, I needed her. For more reasons than I can express. She saved me, you see." He met Michael's eyes. "I know you can appreciate the value of that, because she saved you, too." He looked at Tommy and James. "All of you."

Michael and James stared at him, their faces blank masks. Tommy looked down at his feet. None of them said a thing.

"Ah, here we are." The old man shuffled back into sight at long last, carrying a tray of rings. "I trust you'll find something here to your liking."

"Excellent, thank you," Jane said, tearing his gaze away from the three brothers and focusing on the task at hand. He scanned the rings. "Mm. I'm not sure any of these will do. Have you got any others?"

"Of course. That case over there has a fine selection of engagement rings," the old man said, pointing to a case in the far corner behind Jane. "You take a look at those and I'll check again in the back."

He shuffled off again, taking just as long to retrieve the second batch as he had the first.

Jane spent longer on the second case than he had on the first. "Much better, but still not quite right."

"Oh, dear God," Michael sighed. "You planning to be at this all day?"

"It takes as long as it takes," Jane said without lifting his eyes from the display case.

James pointed out a classic diamond solitaire. "What do you think of that one?"

Michael glanced at it. "Yeah, that one looks fine."

Jane shook his head. "No, no, it's all wrong. It needs to stand out. Not in a flashy way, because Lisbon doesn't like to draw attention to herself. But it needs to be unique."

Tommy pointed at a slender band inlaid with Celtic knots, a small diamond at its center. "What about this one?"

Jane looked at him, pleased. "Now you're on the right track. Successful jewelry shopping is about focusing on the personality of the intended recipient, you know. You have to pick something that reflects their taste, not your own."

Two hours later, Jane could practically see the steam about to pour forth from Michael's ears. "Are you going to look at every damn ring in this whole store?" he demanded.

"I think he might be pretty close to accomplishing that already," James said quietly.

"I told you, it has to be perfect," Jane said, unperturbed.

"Maybe we should try another store," Tommy suggested.

Jane shook his head. "This is the best antique jewelry store in the city."

"You wouldn't know it to look at it," James muttered, glancing around the empty shop.

Jane ignored this. "I'm certain the right ring is here. We just have to keep looking." He looked up at the shop owner. "Have you got any more emeralds?"

The man smiled kindly. He, unlike the Lisbon brothers, appreciated the romance of it all. "I'll open the vault."

He brought out one more tray, this one full of nothing but emerald rings.

Jane spotted it right away. A delicate antique ring of gold filigree with a breathtaking emerald set at its heart. The emerald was modestly sized, but the stone's perfect clarity shone out among the others. He pointed. "That one."

The old man beamed. "Excellent choice, young man."

"How much?" Jane asked.

He named a price that caused all three of the Lisbon brothers to go pale, but Jane didn't bat an eye. He handed over the money without a second thought. The jeweler put the ring in a black velvet box and handed it to him with the receipt.

Michael's eyes bulged out when he saw Jane count out the bills and hand them to the jeweler. "You always carry that much cash around with you?"

"Not normally, no," Jane said placidly, tucking the ring safely into his breast pocket. "I thought I should be prepared for today's little field trip."

"Will that be all for you today, sir?" the jeweler asked.

"I think that will take care of me for today, thank you," Jane said.

Michael blew out a breath. "Finally."

"But I think my friends here would like to take a look at a few pieces for the women in their lives," Jane continued, spying Tommy lingering over a case in the corner.

Michael froze, looking like the proverbial deer caught in the headlights. "What? No way, man."

Jane arched a brow at him. "You're under no obligation, of course. If you don't think your wife deserves to receive a romantic token of your esteem and affection, then by all means, sit this part out."

Michael grumbled under his breath, but he didn't make a move to leave.

"You're expecting _us_ to go jewelry shopping now?" James asked.

Jane raised his eyebrows. "I did tell Teresa I was taking you Christmas shopping. Surely you don't want to have come all the way down here and have nothing to show for it at the end of the day."

James eyed the case nearest him. "I suppose I could get Nell a little something."

"That's the spirit," Jane said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"I haven't bought Laurie jewelry since we got engaged," Michael protested. "If I show up with diamond earrings or something out of the blue, she'll think I'm having an affair."

Jane shrugged. "So don't get earrings."

Michael blew out a breath. "What should I get instead?"

"So you _do _want to get her something," Jane said, hiding a smile.

Michael scowled at him. "Well, if Tommy and James give jewelry to their women for Christmas, I'd sure better get something for mine, or there will be hell to pay."

Jane steered him over to a case in the middle of the store. "Start here."

He left Michael poring over a case of assorted bracelets, rings, and necklaces and went to Tommy. "How's it going over here?"

Tommy straightened up hastily and cleared his throat. "Fine."

Jane caught his eyes darting to a pair of diamond earrings. The youngest Lisbon tapped the pocket that held his wallet absently, unconsciously telegraphing his fear that his choice was far outside his price range. "If I may suggest something," Jane said gently.

Tommy turned a grateful eye on him. "Yeah?"

"Diamonds aren't really the right choice for Elspeth," Jane said. "Far too traditional for a woman like her."

"Really?" Tommy said doubtfully. "I thought all women liked diamonds."

"Trust me."

"Well, what do you suggest?"

"I'd suggest you consider looking over that case of amber earrings over there," Jane said, pointing across the store.

"Amber?" Tommy said blankly. "Why amber?"

"Elspeth is of Polish descent, isn't she?"

"Yeah. How did you know that?"

"It's completely obvious when you look at her bone structure," Jane said dismissively. "The point is, a lot of amber comes from Poland. Amber earrings would be a nod to her Polish roots, but they would also be distinct enough to suit her unique personality."

"Amber…" Tommy said under his breath. "Yeah, good idea." He went over to the case Jane had indicated and stared at its content.

Jane moved on to James, standing next to a case of necklaces. James turned to him with a frown, holding up a necklace with a heart pendant. "What do you think about this?"

Oh, boy. The Lisbon brothers really were hopeless. Jane made a face. "A heart necklace? Really?"

"What's wrong with hearts?" James said defensively. "They're romantic, right?"

"Only if you're fourteen years old. Not for a grown woman," Jane said. "Too clichéd."

James' face fell. "Oh."

Jane took his elbow and turned him back to the jewelry case. "Tell me the first three words that come to your mind when you think of Nell."

James hesitated.

"Don't think about it, just say the words," Jane advised.

"Steady. Warm. Kind," James said, blinking down at the jewelry case.

"Okay, in this case, what is the one piece that makes you think of those qualities more than any other?" Jane prompted.

James pointed. "That one."

Jane looked closely at the piece he'd indicated. An antique oval locket with a delicately carved pattern of intertwined leaves and flowers on the face. "Much better," he agreed. "She'll love it."

He went to check on Michael, who was still staring into the first case he'd started at. "Find anything promising?"

"Nah," Michael said, embarrassed. "I'm no good at this stuff." But Jane noticed his eyes stayed fixed on a particular piece while he said it.

"You like that diamond and sapphire bracelet, huh?" Jane asked.

Michael cut his eyes away. "It's okay."

"It's a good choice," Jane said. "What brought your attention to it?"

"Laurie looks good in blue," Michael muttered. "First time I ever saw her, she was wearing this bright blue dress. Looked kinda like the blue in that bracelet."

"You should get it," Jane said firmly. "And when you give it to her, you should tell her that."

Michael grimaced. "She'd probably have me committed if I said something like that."

"Try it and see," Jane said. "I think you'll be surprised." He gestured to the jeweler. "Mr. Powlaski. I don't you suppose you might be willing to give my friends here a bit of a discount on their purchases here? Since it is Black Friday, and everything?"

As it turned out, Mr. Powlaski was perfectly willing.

Xxx

Three hours later, Michael dropped into a chair at Finnegan's Pub and groaned. "Remind me never to go shopping with you again," he said to Jane.

Jane, who had acquired an ice cream cone down the street and smuggled it into the pub, caught a drip of vanilla ice cream with his tongue before it escaped the confines of the cone. "Suck it up," he said to Michael without sympathy. "You got all your Christmas shopping done weeks in advance. What are you complaining about?"

"The state of my wallet, for one thing. It may never recover. The jewelry was bad enough, then you had to drag us to every custom toy shop in the city."

"It's not my fault you and James here have seven children between you," Jane said, still completely without remorse. "And for the record, it was two toy shops and a bookshop."

Michael scowled. "What's wrong with just getting something from Target like a normal person?"

Jane licked his cone again. "Too unoriginal. Besides, if you get whatever the 'It' toy is for the year, your kids will play for it for five minutes and then it will lie on the living room floor for weeks, forgotten, until you trip over it and nearly break your neck. This way, your children will have gifts that will actually hold their attention spans for longer than five minutes, and your neck will be safe. I did you a favor, really."

Tommy watched Jane in fascination. "How can you eat that right now?" he asked, nodding to the ice cream. "It's like, ten degrees outside."

"Ah, but I have this nice cozy jacket to keep me warm," Jane said, patting the coat Lisbon had given him. He gestured to the bar menu. "Now, what's your pleasure, gentlemen? I'm buying."

The Lisbon brothers gratefully accepted the offer. Once they were settled in with cheeseburgers, fries, and plenty of beer, the brothers mellowed considerably.

"Well, now that we're all fed and watered," Jane said an hour later, sipping his Coke. (He was driving, after all). "It's time to address the next order of business."

"No more shopping," Michael said firmly. "Enough is enough. There's no one left on my shopping list anyway."

"I'm not talking about shopping," Jane said. "I'm talking about putting to rest this ridiculous feud you've held onto for the past God knows how many years."

Tommy froze. "Uh… Patrick, listen. I know you mean well, but—"

"But you can fight your own battles," Jane finished for him. "I know, I know. A very noble and manly sentiment. But the thing is, this is not an occasion for fighting one's own battles. This is a time for a truce. And when it's time for great and proud warriors such as yourselves to lay down arms and embrace peace, sometimes it's helpful to have a neutral third party act as arbitrator."

"Look," Michael said grudgingly. "You're not as bad a guy as I first thought, and I know you're convinced you're going to be our brother-in-law, but you just met us two days ago, man. This is really not your business."

"Of course it is," Jane said dismissively. "I'm practically family now. You're going to have to get used to me poking my nose in where it isn't wanted."

"Believe me, we're beginning to realize that," Michael muttered.

"Good," Jane said, unfazed. "So, what's the problem?"

"Well, you said it yourself the other night," Tommy said uncomfortably. "I made a bad bet and lost the family home."

"Well, sure," Jane said. "Pretty shitty thing to do. I can see why they were so mad at you. But it's been what, eight, nine years since that happened?"

"Thereabouts," Tommy mumbled.

Jane turned to James and Michael. "So why are you still hanging onto this grudge? You both have your own homes now, don't you? It's not like you're still wishing one of you could move into the old place with your families at this point, is it?"

James sighed. "No. But it would have been a lot easier to get to the place where we could own our own homes if we could have sold the house ourselves. We could have split the money so we could each afford a down payment on our own places."

"Makes sense," Jane said. "But you're doing fine now, aren't you? Are you really going to keep your brother in the doghouse forever because he made a mistake that cost you a little extra money eight years ago?"

His question was greeted by stony silence.

"I'll tell you what I think," Jane continued. "I think you've been ready to forgive him for a while now. You're just too stupid and proud to admit it."

More silence. The Lisbon brothers looked everywhere but at each other.

"You miss each other," Jane stated. "It's clear as day. I could tell that after spending five minutes with the three of you together. You want to know how I know that?"

Tommy looked up, his eyes hopeful. "How?"

"Because throughout all the years of this feud, you've continued to spend holidays together."

"That's because of Reese," Michael said gruffly.

"Maybe it was at first," Jane allowed. "But that hasn't been true for a while now, has it?"

"Holidays are a time for family to be together," James said, his voice hard. "Even when they're mad at each other."

"No," Jane said. "Not if they're properly feuding, they don't. But you guys haven't really gotten the whole feuding thing down, have you?"

"What do you mean?" James asked, startled.

"Think about it. What kind of proper feud has regularly scheduled time outs so the opposing sides can hang out and stuff themselves with turkey together? A real feud requires commitment to unbroken, bitter silence. And maybe a duel or two. But you guys secretly want to reconcile, so you agree to spend time together at the holidays because it allows everybody to save face under the guise of doing it for your sister's sake. When you consider the facts of the matter, your rift is pretty much the wimpiest feud ever."

"You're… mocking our feud?" James said, bemused.

"Yes, I am. Your family quarrel is an embarrassment to the name of feud. It's high time you gave it up."

Tommy glanced at his brothers, then looked back at Jane. "What did you have in mind?"

"Some simple group therapy should do the trick, I believe."

"You want to, what, act like you're our shrink or something?" Michael asked, incredulous. "No way."

"Nothing of the kind. All I'm suggesting is a little civilized conversation among men," Jane said. "If that doesn't work, I could always hypnotize you."

Michael snorted. "Yeah, right."

Jane gave him a level stare. "I'm only going to warn you once. If you force me to prove myself, you'll spend the next month walking around clucking like a chicken."

Michael opened his mouth to argue, but Tommy placed a restraining hand on his arm. "I wouldn't test him if I were you," he warned. "Annie said he used to work for the circus or something."

"Carnie folk, actually," Jane corrected him. "But that's neither here nor there."

Michael scowled but remained silent.

"Wise choice, my friend," Jane said. "But don't try me. If you get really out of line, I'll hypnotize you into sharing your feelings every time you hear the word 'cheese.'"

James started to laugh. "Now, that I'd like to see."

The corners of Tommy's mouth twitched. "Yeah, me, too."

Michael glared. "Oh, shut up, both of you."

"You're all agreed, then," Jane said. "You're willing to give this whole reconciling thing a try?"

The three brothers exchanged glances. James shrugged. "I'm game."

"Me, too," Tommy said quickly.

Michael fidgeted. "Yeah, okay," he muttered. "Can't hurt to try, I guess."

"Excellent."

James cleared his throat. "So… where do we start?"

"We'll start by having each of you tell me something nice about each of the other two," Jane said.

Michael couldn't contain himself at this. "What is this, second grade?"

Jane ignored him. "Tommy, you go first."

Tommy appeared startled at being called on first. "Oh, uh… okay." He considered the question. "I guess I think it's kind of cool that James became an accountant," he said finally.

"Bet no one's ever said that to you before," Michael muttered to James.

Tommy seemed to realize that his compliment might not be received in the spirit in which it was intended. "I just mean... James is super smart. He was always good at math. Always worked hard in school. And now he's making a good living, able to support his family because he was smart about what he chose to do with his life. I was always such a screw up. I guess I kind of admire how he always had a plan for everything. He worked hard to achieve everything he planned for, and now… I don't know, he has a steady job, a home, a family who can count on him. That's kind of cool."

James was clearly touched. "Thanks, little brother."

"Very good," Jane said. "Now, what about Michael?"

"Michael…" Tommy trailed off. "I guess I like how Michael can always get us to laugh. He has the blackest sense of humor of anyone I've ever met, but we needed that, you know? Growing up, I mean. He was always clowning around at the worst possible time. He would make a sarcastic comment about all the shitty stuff that was happening, and it… made the whole thing bearable, somehow. We needed that," he repeated.

James clapped Michael on the shoulder. "There you go, Michael. Finally, validation that all those years of being a pain in the ass were worthwhile after all."

Michael punched him in the arm. "Shut up." But the tips of his ears were red and Jane could tell he wasn't unaffected by Tommy's words.

"Very good," Jane said to Tommy. "James, now you."

"Okay," James said. "I guess for Michael, I appreciate how loyal he is. He could make fun of you for days about one thing or another, but if someone outside the family tried to do the same, thing, he'd fight to the death to make them take it back, even if the guy was twice his size."

"As for Tommy…" He turned to look at his youngest brother. "You were so young when Sharon got pregnant with Annie. And then she left when Annie was just a baby. I was always impressed at how you stepped up when that happened. You took really good care of that little girl, all by yourself. You're a great father. That's the thing I admire most about you."

Tommy was clearly moved. "Thanks, James. You, uh, you are, too." He looked at Michael. "Both of you are."

Michael looked away.

"See now, Michael," Jane said. "Tommy said _two_ nice things about you. Two for the price of one. Your turn now." Seeing Michael's hesitation, he added, "You can start with James, if it's easier."

"What can I say about James?" Michael said gruffly. "He's my big brother. I see him almost every day. He's always been there for me, no matter what. After Reese got that scholarship to that fancy school in California and left, James stayed. Tommy's right, James is super smart. He could have gone anywhere. But he knew we needed him, and he stayed. James is the steady one, you know? He calmed me down when Laurie got pregnant with Kevin and I was freaking out. I was so scared I was going to turn out like our dad. James hit me on the back of the head and told me I wasn't going to suddenly become a child-beating drunk overnight, and not to worry."

"Actually, I think what I said was that if it looked like you were going to, I'd come over and kick your ass," James said with a wry smile.

"That's what you needed to hear," Jane guessed, addressing Michael. "That the burden wasn't entirely on you. If something threatened your children, someone would help you protect them, even if the threat was coming from you."

"Yeah," Michael mumbled into his beer. "Something like that."

"All right, little bro," James said to Michael. "Time to 'fess up. What qualities of Tommy's have you secretly admired all these years?"

Michael was silent for a long time. "There was this one time…"

"Yeah?" James prompted.

Michael kept his eyes on his beer. "There was this one time when I was eleven. Tommy was nine. We were home alone. James and Reese were still at school. It… it was Mom's birthday. Dad had this picture of her he'd stashed up on top of this monstrous old armoire that used to belong to our grandmother. He'd hidden all the pictures of her one time after a particularly bad bender. This picture I'm talking about had always been his favorite. It was a picture of her he'd taken out in our backyard in the summer. He always said she looked so beautiful in the sunlight." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, it was her birthday. I missed her. I wanted to look at the picture. I climbed up on top of a chair to get it off the top of the armoire. Tommy was scared. He told me not to do it. He said Dad would kill me if he found out, but I didn't listen."

His voice sounded very far away. "I broke it. The chair wasn't tall enough, or I wasn't. It slipped out of my fingers the second I got hold of it. Crashed to the ground and the glass shattered into a thousand pieces." He gave a bitter laugh. "Of course, that was the exact moment Dad came home."

James tensed. Jane could tell he'd never heard this story before. "What happened?"

Michael shrugged, his eyes still fixed on the glass in front of him. "Exactly what you think. Dad lost it. There was me on top of that stupid chair, and Tommy standing below, scared out of his wits. We froze for a second, then ran like hell. We locked ourselves in the bathroom." He swallowed. "I've never been so scared in my life. Dad was furious. He beat the door like a mad man, cursing and yelling like I'd never heard before. I thought, 'this is it, he really is going to kill me this time.'"

"What did you do?" James asked, sounding a little sick.

Michael looked down. "I pissed myself."

"No, I mean—about Dad."

Michael released a short bark of laughter. "Nothing. He couldn't get the door open. I thought for a while he might break it down, but eventually he gave up and went back downstairs. We found him later, passed out with half a bottle of Jim Beam in one hand and the photograph in the other. His hand was all cut to hell from picking it out of the glass, but he hadn't bothered to clean any of it up. The broken glass was still scattered all over the floor."

James frowned. "I don't remember that."

"Me 'n Tommy cleaned up the glass before you and Reese came home," Michael said.

James looked confused. "I don't understand."

"I was eleven years old and I peed my pants," Michael said. "I was mortified. What kind of eleven year old pees his pants?"

"The kind who regularly gets the crap kicked out of him by his dad, that's who," James said.

Michael shook his head. "That's not the point."

"What is the point?" Jane asked.

Michael looked at him, his ears brick red. "The point is, I asked Tommy not to tell anyone, and he didn't. He never told James. He didn't even tell Reese. He didn't tell a soul."

James looked at Tommy, too. "No, he never did. I bet if you hadn't told that story right now, he would have taken that to his grave."

Tommy flushed. "Course I would have."

James looked back at Michael. "There's one thing I don't get."

"What's that?"

"I remember that picture you were talking about. But I have it now, and it's still in its frame."

"So?"

"So, how could it still be in its frame after you smashed it all to hell like that?"

"It's not the same frame," Michael said. "Tommy found another frame for it the next day and we got it back up on top of the armoire without anybody noticing." He frowned. "Come to think of it, where did you get that frame, anyway?"

"Oh, that," Tommy said, sheepish. "I stole it."

James stared at him. "You stole it?"

"Yeah."

"From where?" Michael asked, fascinated.

"Old Mrs. Carmichael's place," Tommy said.

"How the hell did you sneak anything out from under that old harridan's nose?" James asked, impressed.

Tommy shrugged. "I pretended to fall of my bike in front of her house and scraped up my knee. She made me come into the house to get cleaned up. I took one of the frames of her cat pictures and stuck it down the back of my shorts while she was getting a bandage for me."

Michael started to laugh. "She never found out?"

Tommy grinned. "Nope. She must have thought one of the cats knocked it over or something."

"Forget Mrs. Carmichael," James said. "The real miracle was that Reese never found out."

Tommy shuddered. "No kidding. She'd have marched me over to Mrs. Carmichael's house by the ear to take it back and apologize in person."

"She probably would have volunteered you to weed the old battle axe's garden for a month as penance, too," Michael said.

Tommy grimaced. "I think I'd rather have had the tarring from Dad."

"Yeah, in some ways, she was harder on us than the old man," Michael agreed.

"For our own good, though," James pointed out. "Everything she ever did was to protect us. She never let him hurt us if she could help it."

"She saved our asses a thousand times over, that's for sure," Michael said.

"Do you ever think about what might have happened to us if we hadn't had Reese?" Tommy asked. "Sometimes I wonder how we would have turned out if she hadn't been around to save us all those years."

"I don't wonder," James said. "I know. If by some miracle Dad had managed not to kill any of us somewhere along the way, we would have been split up and sent to foster homes." He shook his head. "We probably would have ended up just like him."

Michael scowled into his beer. "Worthless, violent drunks."

"Exactly," James said. "She saved us from that, too. Everything good in our lives, we owe to her."

"I'll drink to that," Tommy said. He raised his glass. "To Reese."

"Hear, hear," Jane said, raising his Coke. The four men clinked their glasses and drank.

Jane put his cup down. "Just curious," he said. "Have you ever said any of this to Teresa herself?"

Michael looked at him blankly. "Said what?"

"It's obvious to me you're grateful for everything she's done for you over the years," Jane said.

"Of course we are," James said.

Jane shook his head. "The thing is, I'm not so sure she knows that."

"How could she not know?" Michael scoffed.

Jane raised an eyebrow. "You ever tell her?"

"Nah," Michael said.

"If you haven't told her, how would she know?"

"It's like you said. It's obvious."

"I said it's obvious to me," Jane corrected him. "I'm not so sure about her. She might appreciate hearing it out loud."

Michael shook his head. "Reese hates that touchy feely stuff."

"No," Jane said. "She's uncomfortable initiating it. Doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate expressions of love and affection as much as the next person. You know how she is. If you want to engage her on emotional matters, you have to be the one to take the first step or you'll never get anywhere."

"You really think she doesn't know?" Tommy asked.

Jane shook his head. "She thinks you resent her for acting like your mom, always bossing you around. She feels guilty for abandoning you to go to California and pursue her dream."

Tommy was quiet for a moment. "It was hard when she left," he said at last. "Especially for me and Michael. I won't deny that at the time, I wanted her to stay."

"And Michael was an even bigger pain in the ass than usual those first couple months after she left," James put in. "We all missed her."

"Right," Tommy said. "But if she'd stayed…"

"She would have been miserable," James finished. "She would have just kept sacrificing herself for our sakes until there was nothing left of her. None of us wanted that for her." He nudged Michael. "Right, Mikey?"

Michael frowned at his beer again. "I guess I just wish it didn't have to be like that. That she could have been happy if she'd stayed. But I guess she couldn't, so I s'pose she did the right thing. It wasn't fair for her to be shackled to us her whole life. She deserves better." He cleared his throat. "She deserves the best."

Jane smiled at him. "I couldn't agree more."

Michael looked back at him, a challenge in his eyes. "I suppose you think you're what's best for her?"

"Not at all," Jane said. "I freely acknowledge that I in no way deserve her. I'm just more selfish than you lot. I'm not willing to give her up. I can only promise that I will devote myself absolutely and completely to the task of making her as happy as possible for the rest of my life."

"Can't say fairer than that," James said.

"You really haven't talked to her about any of this?" Michael said, incredulous.

"Can't," Jane said gloomily. "If I bring it up now, she'll panic and run for the hills. I have to play it like a long con, unfortunately."

Michael seemed to be stuck on this. "Seriously. You haven't even given her a hint of what's coming?"

"Of course I've hinted. I told her I want to build a life with her, but she doesn't seem to have grasped the true significance of that sentiment," Jane sighed. "For someone with such a sharp investigative mind, she's awfully slow on the uptake when it comes to emotional matters. She's convinced I'm going to leave, for some reason. I think it's why she's so hung up on the 'I love you' thing. It makes no sense, really. I asked to move in with her, for heaven's sake."

"You asked her if you could move in?" Tommy asked, impressed.

"The suggestion was not well-received," Jane told him. "That was when I realized I would have to proceed delicately to get her to agree in the long run." He shook his head. "Accordions. Damn tricky instruments."

"And us forgiving Tommy is all part of your grand plan to convince her to marry you?" Michael asked skeptically.

"Absolutely," Jane said.

"You had this all planned out before you even got here, didn't you?" James said in wonder. "How on earth did you even know we weren't on good terms in the first place? You said Reese never told you about it."

Jane cleared his throat. "Ah, interesting story, that. This one time, I may have tricked her into thinking she was going to die…"

Michael stared at him. "What the hell?"

"The details aren't important," Jane said hastily. "The point is, for about twenty minutes, she was convinced she was going to die, and she revealed that her last dying wish was for the three of you to make peace with each other."

"You're putting us on," Michael scoffed.

"I'm not," Jane assured him. "She was very clear about her feelings on the matter. Of course, then she found out I had tricked her and it became a moot point."

"What did she do when she found out you were lying all along?" Tommy asked, fascinated.

"She punched me in the nose," Jane said ruefully.

James started to laugh. "Of course she did."

"She really punched you?" Tommy said.

"Yep," Jane confirmed. "It hurt like hell, by the way. She nearly broke my nose."

"Somehow, knowing that Reese punched you in the nose makes me like you more," Michael said.

"Touché, my friend," Jane said.

Michael fidgeted with his glass. "Well, if you think it will help you in your mission to convince Reese to agree to marry you, I guess you can tell her me and James forgave Tommy. If it means that much to her."

"Of course it does," Jane said. "Thank you."

Michael gave him a pained expression. "So now that we're all happy families again, is group therapy over?"

Jane considered this. "I believe so. I think we've covered the essential points."

"Good," James said. "If that's done, what do you think about having another round? If you're buying, I promise we'll tell you some of our best Reese stories."

Jane was delighted with this proposal. "Sounds like a plan to me." He signaled the waiter. "Another round for my friends, please." He lowered his voice and spoke directly into the other man's ear. "Keep 'em coming."

The Lisbon brothers raised their glasses in appreciation and toasted a very noisy 'Cheers.'

Jane watched them with affection. These were good men, and Lisbon loved them. They told him stories he was certain Lisbon wouldn't approve of. He drank in every tidbit greedily, filing away every story from Lisbon's childhood away in its own compartment in his memory palace. He filed away observations about the three brothers as well, learning their opinions and habits. He could see bits of Lisbon in each of them. James, the quiet, steadfast one. Michael, the most sarcastic and outspoken. Tommy, the sly, mischievous one.

He knew Lisbon didn't understand why it was so important to him that her brothers know and accept him. Not yet, anyway. She would someday soon, he hoped. The truth was, these men were going to be his family. Apart from Lisbon and her team, he hadn't been part of a family in a long time. He wanted to do it right. He would love and care for these men and their families as though they were his own flesh and blood, because they were hers.

He fingered the ring in his pocket. He was really looking forward to it.


End file.
